Seeing as how you all thoroughly enjoyed Karen’s last guest spot with us, she has graciously submitted another article for our use to spread the good words to you! With the new year being still a novel concept, many of us are figuring out our resolutions and how to give way to betterment for ourselves and our families. How many times have you already gone up against someone with a big ego? Did they frustrate you? See in Karen’s insightful words below on how to continue to squash the egos without fear, and keep yourself in check, too!
How to Stand Up to People With Big Egos
People with big egos often frustrate you. They cause you to scratch your head and watch in amazement and disbelief at the things they do and say. Muster all the energy you can find and make an attitude adjustment as you will need it to survive when you are with them. When you do come across the ego too big to come through the doorway, here are some ways to stand in your own power.
See past the mask. People with big egos seem self-assured and competent, yet they are quite the opposite. The ego is the show they put on to cover the desperation, the need for validation, the hunger to feel worthy of whatever they crave, be it power, fame, respect or acceptance. Think back to the person you dated who came across as full of themselves the first time you met them, only to later learn it was all a facade. If you understand that, you can feel a sense of compassion for the person as you can now see the behavior as a cry for help. Be kind to them but refuse to be a puppet in their show.
Speak with confidence. Go back to every public speaking tip you ever received. Stay clear of filler words, maintain eye contact, and avoid phrases that make you appear weak: “I feel..,” “I’m not sure..,” or “I just..” minimize your authority. Instead, use words to sound assertive and be the expert or you will find yourself struggling to be heard and further feed their superiority complex.
Don’t get emotional. Keep your composure, as with the big ego often comes a healthy dose of anger, being difficult and demanding. If this person is your boss or a person in authority that you must work with on a regular basis, then load up on your facts when having discussions. Don’t waste your energy telling them how you feel as it will not get you very far.
Know when to walk away. Preserve your mental sanity and self-respect. There are instances when no amount of kindness, speaking confidently or resisting emotions will have any impact on an egotistical person. When that happens, it’s time to walk away. Physically walk away to regain your composure or decide what your emotional boundaries will be when you need to be in their presence.
Before you decide to stand up to that person with a big ego, make sure you are not confusing a confident person with a big ego because you are insecure yourself. We all have an ego, so before you start pointing fingers trying to find the egotistical maniacs in your life, recognize that at some point you may be the person perceived to be the one with the big ego in the room.
Karen Hinds is author of 4 books, an international speaker and CEO of Workplace Success Group LLC, a boutique talent development firm. Karen@workplacesuccess.com